Is It Okay to Date Them?

READ: 1 KINGS 11:4-6; 1 CORINTHIANS 7:39; 2 CORINTHIANS 6:14-18

He’s cute, he’s sweet, and he’s oh-so-nice. But he’s not a Christian.

She goes to church, and she’s so much fun, but Christ is not particularly important to her.

Is it okay to date them?

Being attracted to someone who doesn’t love Christ can be a really tough situation. Trust me, I’ve been there. What can you do?

First off, dating them is a bad idea. I’m really sorry. If Christ is the center of your life and identity, you can’t have a partner for whom Christ isn’t important. Even if they’re happy to live your Christian life right now, they don’t share your ultimate goal to love God and serve in His kingdom. It doesn’t matter how nice or “good” they might be. Entering a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t know Jesus is often a path to heartache, sin, and regret.

So, you say no. Sound hard? It is. It’s the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever done. But if I survived it, so can you. Because Christ is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9).

“But wait!” you may ask, “what if they become a Christian? Then can I date them?” If they really are sincere about following Christ—and wouldn’t give up on Him even if you weren’t in their life—then, yes. They’re God’s child, and you’re on equal footing. Good news: there are lots of real-life examples of this happening!

Bad news: there are also a lot of real-life examples of someone “converting,” but really only doing it for the other person, and never truly loving Christ. That’s an even worse situation, so be careful. If someone says they know Jesus, take your time before starting to date them. Find out why they believe and get lots of counsel from godly Christian adults in your life.

When in doubt? Wait and pray. And remember that, if Christ has a future spouse for you, it’ll be someone who really loves Him. You can trust God for your future. • Christiana Albrecht

• Have you ever been attracted to someone who doesn’t love Christ? What did you do?

• Do you know any Christians who are currently married to non-Christians? What could you learn from their experiences? How could you pray for them?

• If you’re attracted to someone who doesn’t share your faith, talk to Jesus about it. He has so much compassion on you. He knows your hurts, and He’s with you through it all (Hebrews 4:14-16).

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)